Friday, 15 March 2013

Pussy willow, fairy bubble wands and feeling blue....and red nosed.

 
 

These beautiful pussy willow branches were brought to me by a dear friend today, they are massive and so beautiful and they definitely brightened the soul, and boy do I need it today!


 We've had a gentle day today, with lots of special time to make up for being a very grumpy mummy yesterday (read on to find out more). Little Es and me spent some time today making bubble wands for her Fairy Princess party coming up in April. I got the idea from this very lovely blog and I think they are so cute. Offcourse the only colours allowed are pink, purple and green for the boys.
 


 
 
We did have the heating on, even though Es is in her thermal jacket (heehee).
And here is Red nosed Josh on his way to school, dressed in an array of mismatched bits from various wardrobes.
 
 
 
I don't know about you, but for me there is very little than can get my core so unsettled as a bad day with the kids. Well, yesterday certainly was one very yukky day and I still feel a little off-balance as a result.

Before having kids I was pretty set on adopting a parenting style that didn't involve punishment such as smacking. I found inspiration in Margot Sunderland's 'The Science of parenting' ,which offers facts on the chemistry of love and how our behaviour as parents stimulate our children's hormones. About four years ago, I read Alfie Kohn's book, 'Unconditional Parenting', and over the years it has slowly become a good little companion. I remember the first time I read it, I felt completely thrown by his approach to parenting as it goes against the the way our western society has conditioned us to raise our children. It challenges the principles of the mainstream Super Nannies and Christopher Green's (Toddler Taming). I remember thinking but why doesn't Alfie offer any specific solutions to the problems, how I am suppose to know what to do, when I have been taught so differently?! It took me two reads to realise that the solutions were staring me in the face all the time. From then on I made the resolve to adopt a mindful parenting approach, with special emphases on love and reason as suppose to rewards and punishment. Although this sounds really lovely, it proves to be very very challenging as I have come to realise over the last four years. We so often use punishment and rewards to achieve our goal and so often forget just what it is teaching our kids. Well, I try hard, but offcourse like most of us its a struggle and yesterday was one of those very yukky parenting days where I felt like I am failing miserably as a parent. This job as parent is a super tough one and at almost six years at this, I have come to realise that tiredness is my weakness and my biggest trigger for loosing control. The guilt and regrets that come with the aftermath of the 'rage' is always the worse. Tormenting oneself for being so rubbish at it. It all feels a bit overbearing. So today I am feeling a little blue... and I think it may be time to read my latest purchase by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish: 'How to talk so kids will listen & listen so kids will talk'.

1 comment:

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