September saw so many beautiful things including a Mandala

Hello lovely readers, it seems that I have been a little quiet here lately, but I intend to make up for it in buckets today as I have heaps to share with you. September has been a beautiful month here in the North of England as we were blessed with beautiful clear skies and warm autumnal sunshine. This meant that far too much time was spent on my yoga mat outside and far too little time holding my crochet hook, logging into my computer or let alone mention the old sewer that seems to be gathering a great deal of dust of late. I did however manage to turn my September Monthly Mandala, that I wrote about here, into a cushion and I must say that I am rather pleased with the outcome. It has been my intention for a while to make a ripple blanket, but seeing that I still haven't managed to get around to it, this seems to at least satisfy a small part of that chevron urge, for now anyway. 

 Sadly the light at this time of year is not particularly good in this little space of ours and to be honest the photo doesn't really do it justice. I don't know about the rest of you in the Northern hemisphere, but there has definitely been a shift in light and rooms are feeling much darker (and colder). I have started lighting candles again and there is no doubt that autumn has finally kicked his cold toes under my blanket. For me this change most certainly became most noticeable after the appearance of the Harvest moon this month, did you see it? Oh my it was really spectacular! They say that it tends to be larger and more colourful than other moons due to the tilt of the earth and the reflection from the atmosphere and I have to say that it looked so very big and colourful from the bedroom window.

September has been a month of harvest here too, with runner beans, cucumber, beets, and lots and lots of kale making it into our kitchen. Fortunately it also seems that we may even have enough Kale for another month or two, which is a blessing as we do love a bit of Kale in our house. Have any of you tried making kale chips, if not you must, its so easy (kale + olive oil+ salt+oven=delicious!). I also enjoyed the last of our delicious apples and am currently thinking of ways in which we can squeeze in another apple or pear tree in the garden, but I am faced with the slight dilemma that the little wendy play house is in the exact spot I would like to plant it, so I might have to wait a few years for the kids to outgrow their little space. 

September has been a month of struggle with my health, but it hasn't stopped me from becoming even more obsessed with yoga than I already was (not that I thought that was possible!). I was also incredibly lucky to enjoy two days of being taught by the very talented yogini, Kino MacGregor. Lets just keep this short and say that it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life, I really enjoyed every minute of it even though my batteries were a little flat at times, it definitely is a memory I will always cherish. Here is a little memento of my weekend with Kino.

September has been a month of slowly getting back to warmer foods and soups. I have experimented with Vegetable Soup, Tomato and Basil soup and made my all time favourite Carrot and Coriander Soup. For those of you who follow me on instagram @Scrummytritious, some of the recipes are there. For the rest of you, here is the recipe for my vegetable soup.

So basically to make the vegetable soup, you are going to need:
Tablespoon of Coconut oil
7 Large Carrots
3 Large Courgettes
3 Onions
2 Stalks Celery
A generous bunch of fresh Coriander
2 Cubes of gluten free vegetable stock (I use Kallo Organic)
1.5L of water
Some Himalayan Rock salt & pepper to taste

Method
Chop all your vegetables (medium size chunks). Gentle fry the onions and carrots for around 5 minutes, then add the celery and cook for around 5 minutes before adding the stock and water. Bring to boil and then reduce to a simmer and then add the courgette. Cook for around 10 minutes max and then add the coriander before blending it partly with a hand blender, leaving some chunks of vegetables in there. Enjoy!

Septemeber also saw the return of a loaf of bread to our lives. We have now been Paleo gosh for around seven to eight months and even though I wasn't having much bread before I was still enjoying the odd bit of grains, like rice and things baked with brown rice flour every now and then. This recipe for this delicious Sun Dried Tomato & Basil Bread is completely Paleo and made with ground almonds. I use ground almonds often, but have never thought of making a savoury bread with it and I must say it was delicious and I will definitely be making it again very soon. 

September saw our gigantic sunflower come into bloom. For some reason we NEVER succeed in planting sunflowers and even though we planted over seven establish seedlings, I think the Raven's and Jackdaws must have been too quick to dig out the seeds still attached to the plant. Does anyone else experience this? Fortunately for us, this beauty was overlooked and how very special for us. 

 September also finally saw the final touches going on to our stairs that has been a WIP for many many months. Earlier this year I had this massive urge to remove the rather tired looking carpet from our stairs. To be honest it is something I have been meaning to do ever since I since I received this beautiful book from a friend for Christmas 2012. The problem you see is that I never thought I would have the guts to pull and see what mess lies beneath an old tattered carpet. Well it seems that one very cold and frosty January morning, those worries and concerns where very far from my mind, instead I felt brave and ready to conquer all (I must have had a mild does of brain freeze one thinks). I must add here that it has taken me a little longer than anticipated, but I got there in the end and wow, what a transformation. I love this idea and it has made such a difference to the light and feel of our very narrow staircase. Thank you Sarah Moore for your wonderful inspiration, it seems collecting old wallpaper does come in handy after all. I used an eclectic mix of mostly old, but a few modern prints are hiding in here too as I really like the combination of old and new. 

Last, but not least, September has also been a month for yet another monthly mandala and this month it was the rather sweet little mandala pattern by Zooty Owl as mentioned here. This fun little Granny Mini Mandala pattern is super quick to work and as I have also come to realise, it offers some rather fun alternative possibilities, but more on that another day. For now though it is show and tell time. 

So for any of you who have joined in the yarn mandala fun, please add your mandala below. For next month I thought it might be fun to try Marinke Slump's 12-round mandala. For anyone interested you can find the pattern on Ravelry. 

Wishing you all a beautiful October.

Warm Wishes

Hannapat

xoxo

An InLinkz Link-up

Balance

Life is a gift and one I am truly grateful for. Each day my understanding of gratitude changes and improves, I have learnt, through meditation over the years that gratitude is something we can feel, touch, taste, hear, something that awakens the most intimate parts of our bodies and minds, but it is something we so seldom sit and really embrace

 

 

 

The last few months have been somewhat of an interesting journey for me, one that has brought many questions to the forefront of my mind and one that has left me a little unsettled as I confirm yet again that I am still an all or nothing kinda gal, one who dives in the deep end and shriek with joy as I approach the biggest waves, one that loves the thrill of fear, the buzz you get from looking for your next gear placement whilst half way up a mountain, one that thrives on the excitement of getting my wheel just in the right place on a thread bare downhill single track. My association with life is to live to the fullest, with a glass always half full, so when I embarked on yet another journey to wellness in January, I dived in with all fours with new excitement and hope that this journey would be the one that will finally bring me closer to improved health and finding the essence is of my existence.

 

You see life is a little like balancing spinning plates and one that requires skill and precision. Over the last couple of months I have worked closely on learning this skill and building on my existing knowledge and if I am honest it has been a struggle. Often it feels like this work-life balance is an illusion, one that despite our best attempts we can only maintain the perfect balance with our pretty plates spinning at the right time and right place for a certain time before we realise that we are missing something, balance and the inevitable chaos that comes with being human.

 

Right now I am standing at the edge of reason, as I face the next phase. You see I have faced three months of sheer dedication and focus on my health during the day with a dedicated morning to healing, rest after lunch and spend my time as a good mum in the afternoon, wife in the evening, before I pamper my tender loins for a good nights rest, and injecting any spare time I have into research. Don't get me wrong I am loving my new routine, it is a pleasure, I rise get my kids to school, come home do some gentle yoga followed by a long meditation, prepare my lunch and do the must-do jobs and read up about foods, go to bed, rest, get up and so on. My soul feels calm, grounded, nourished and loved and for the first time in my life I feel pretty happy in my skin, happy with who I am, grateful for my being and excited about my future.

 

One slight problem is that some pretty plates have fallen by the wayside, I miss my sewing machine, my crochet hooks, my embroidery floss and most of all feeling balanced in the sense that only works for me. There are no right answers, there are no gimmicks, this is life at the core, in the deep end, but I can swim and I want to and somehow I know with time I will find my balance.

 

For now, I feel a little torn, like I am leading a double life. You see, I made the decision earlier this year that I would really inject every ounce of my being into my recovery and for me the best way I could see this happen is through doing what I am doing now, but also to finally start a blog where I could write about my journey to recovery. Over two years ago, from my bed, I made a feeble attempt at starting and ME blog, nothing about it felt right, but now I am geared up and ready. My focus will  predominantly be around food and as a result I have started a new Instagram account called Scrummytritious, the name I hope to use for my new blog when I get around to it. It feels a little strange to be living two sides of your life, but it works for me.

Cosmos and Cotton has been my savour during a time when I needed to reconnect with the world and re-engage my brain. You see four walls can get pretty lonely at times and this little space has given me light, love and hope, but above all a place where I can express the creative side of me and talk about family and gardening. My need to be creative has always been there, since I was a little girl and I love that Cosmos and Cotton has become a little platform for me where I can feel inspired by like minded souls. This little space was never really intended for ME, but its my life and ME is such a BIG part of it, I couldn't keep it separate. Now however I feel ready to do a little more, be a little more focussed and I honestly don't want to start incorporating my weekly journey with M.E here, so I feel it best to shift the gears in a different direction. This comes at a strange time, especially seeing that the very lovely and dear friend Clare have recently nominated me for this rather special award for promoting ME awareness, which I will share with you soon.

 

For now though, things may be a little quiet here, but that is just because I keep dropping these plates and I am learning how to balance everything without loosing the essence of what I am setting out to achieve. You see like those spinning plates we can try our best with everything at once, but generally it only lasts a few days, weeks, months or years before something happens to disrupt it. I want to find a lifestyle that I can keep, one that will see me through the rest of my days even when I am well again and this will take some time to figure out.

 

I know this is a really long post and one with very few photos, it just goes to show it can be done. It can be so powerful to put your thoughts on paper and really appreciate the enormity of what you are trying to achieve in life. I am missing you all and you are never far from my thoughts and I am hopeful that one day soon I will find the perfect equilibrium, for now though Namaste.

 

 

 

Warm Wishes

Hannapat

xoxo

 

This year

there were so many plans, so many dreams for this little space, Etsy and life itself. There was an urge to fervently write lists and new years resolutions.

 
Then there was a moment when life stopped, the only thing that kept a sense of perspective was the beat of my heart.

The month running up to Christmas was one of my toughest M.E months to date,  not so much on a physical level, but more on an emotional level and if I'm honest it was a really difficult time for me. I spent countless hours contemplating the benefits of writing here about it all, but instead I chose some time away from it all.

The time away has cleared my horizon and given way to a new perspective. For over four years now I have been yearning to have days where I can focus on my recovery without the constant need of caring and mothering my children. I have finally received this gift as little E is now in school and for the first time since I fell ill I have a beautiful blank canvass that I want to handle with care, love and respect, but most of all eventually fill it with the most vibrant colours that will sing to my soul.

Within is a voice that talks to us daily, one we so often choose to ignore, not by choice, but because of societal conditioning. A large majority of us have not been conditioned to meditate daily and to tame the so called 'chattering monkey', in fact very few of us know how to be still and be at one with our bodies. It truly is an art, one that takes years and years of practice and for me one that once perfected will epitomise self-actualisation. Over the years I have worked hard on trying to join the forces of my mind and body so they flow like Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata Op27. no 2. Instead my innate stubbornness, desire to achieve, driven nature and need to always be busy stands like an iceberg between my mind and body.

The only way I can think of moving forward is to really tune in, listen to each note blending into the next, feeling each staccato, legato and crescendo from the core. The decision to not commit to anything hasn't come lightly, but for now I am just going with the flow seeing where my body and mind wants to take me. Each day a blank canvas and even though life has to go on and I have a family to care for, I am trying to focus on the things that I think will help. These are things I know from experience can heal and improve the mind and body.

 Nine years ago I fell ill with viral meningitis and after three months in bed I felt helpless and didn't know how I was going to regain my strength to get back to my then senior manager post. I contacted a yoga teacher who for a while did private tuition with me at home as I was too weak to move and within weeks my body started responding in the most amazing way. I no longer had to sit at the top of the stairs when I got there I could move, breathe and within a month I was back at work.

 

The passion didn't end there, I continued daily practice and twice weekly classes even through pregnancies and with babies doing baby yoga. It is a practice that I have tried throughout my journey with M.E but with little success as it seems to create some trigger for shingles that take very little to activate in my body. Now I feel ready to try again and this time starting with baby steps and following yoga for Chronic Fatigue. I have done three sessions and already I am feeling and seeing the benefits. I love how yoga gives you energy and light from within. It has also made me realise just how weak four years of ill health has made my body and I look forward to regaining some strength.

 

 

I am also stripping down everything I am fuelling my body with, back to the early stages of my M.E and letting my body find some comfort and love in the goodness that mother earth has given us. For now I am avoiding all sugar, apart from natural sugars, but it is not all doom and gloom as I am looking forward to experimenting with some raw foods to see what little treats we can enjoy, but more on that another day. I have started using a wonderful app called MyFitnessPal. It is great tool to log what you eat and use it as a food diary and monitor how certain food affect you, it is also great for weight loss as it gives you your calorie intake allowance for each day.

 

 

There will be more time just to sit, read and enjoy the gift of being still. There will be hours creating, but hopefully in a different vein, one that appreciates and enjoys every aspect of the process through mindfulness and without any future expectation clouding the mind. This won't be easy as I get so carried away wanting to make a million things all at once, for me sometimes I think the biggest pleasure comes from dreaming and planning, but with time and effort I am a firm believer that it will get easier and more enjoyable. I am enjoying my new start and am already feeling small benefits.

 

Once I post this post I am sitting down with this month's Simply Crochet (Issue 14), and I have been so excited to get my mitts on this copy, especially seeing that the lovely Andrea from Betty&Annie is featuring in it. I love Andrea's blog and if you haven't already seen her most recent work of art, please go and check out her fabulous tablecloth!!

 

 

Wishing you all a very enjoyable week.

Warm Wishes

Hannapat

xoxo